Reminder to Self

June 1st, 2022

It’s been a while since you had the time and the mental capacity to think critically. You had adjusted to work and now are responsible for onboarding other people. Things seemed to be great until you forgot something important. You forgot to self-reflect and was always busy with the next thing, even if the next thing was minute. It didn’t matter. You were on the move.

You are not sure what prompted today’s chain of thought, but here are some things to remember:

Find learning opportunities everywhere
Fear of social acceptance

These reminders may look very simple, but they each send a strong message.

“Find learning opportunities everywhere” is the reminder of yourself a year ago where you were learning something new every week. Some of those lessons have completely changed your outlook on life. You will need more of them. You will need them to develop the your sense of worldview. A worldview that you truly believe in and want to embrace. A worldview that may be always adapting but is always insightful. Do not forget the day “I want to live”, the day you were mentally weak, the day you were heart-broken, and finally the day you were in love. Learn from them all. Grow and thrive, for that is the opinion you shall forever be strong-willed about.

The second reminder emphasizes on the “fear”. People often seemed overly fearful of social acceptances. You thought you do not have such fear. It was not the lack of the fear but rather the lack of the realization. As someone who was socialized much later in life compared to the general public, the idea of social expectations was not well developed in your mind. You believe your goals are of your own volition of no one else. As much as this may true, those goals are not of purely your own. The construction of these goals came from mimicking others’ and decided on whatever seemed most appealing to yourself. That is not the interesting bit. Beyond your goals, you have other expectations that you were indoctrinated by the social expectations. These expectations mainly includes your self-consciousness about your skin. The resolution of this isn’t clear. There’s a fuzzy line between personal expectations and social expectations; a fuzzy line, where you only realize once you are on the wrong side. Fearful.